Thanks for stopping by 🫶🏾

I had an epiphany during one of the many nights I couldn’t sleep that enlightened my perspective about friendships.

Disclaimer: It is probably going to be a long rant that probably only makes sense to me lol. Treat it as self-therapy.

Here goes:

I feel very deeply about the people I love and try to show them as much as I can. Sometimes, it might not seem reciprocated and you might feel forgotten or not valued, especially on low days. I have come to realize that this is usually not the case. That’s not the epiphany lol

So during one of those many nights I struggled to sleep, I began to reimagine friendships —everyone as a solar system each in a galaxy… everyone with their own star with planets orbiting it. In non-planetary terms, your loved ones have loved ones that are not you. Sounds like a given, yes, but it’s easy to get pigeonholed.

You know when you find out that your cousin has other cousins you’re not related to? Lol. Kinda like that. Or like when my nephew didn’t want to believe that the woman he calls grandma, is my mother. He refused and insisted, “No, that’s grandma”. He couldn’t fathom that my mother is anything other than his grandmother. It’s easy to sometimes forget people are bigger than just who they are to you, because they’re usually only presented in one aspect. Isn’t seeing your friend being bossy at work so weird? Like, who’s this?

So, picture your loved ones and their individual ‘solar systems’ like a big neighbourhood. Friend A texting you, checking in on you, calling etc is like them passing by your house that day. Some people stay for tea or spend the whole day with you, others sit by you as you both do your tasks, and some just wave from the side of the road.

Friend A might have a couple of houses more to pass by before the day ends, but that leaves other houses they ignore (because social battery). On some days, they might check in those other people and not have time to ‘visit’ you. And on other days, they might just really want to stay home and recharge. Same way, you take the initiative to ‘visit’ other people, check in on them, but ignore others.

Sometimes, people send you goodie bags of stuff that reminds them of you. They might not drop by, but they’re still thinking of you. In their solar system with all that interstellar (whatever stars and planets do) to do lists and all the other people they ‘orbit’ and who ‘orbit’ them, they drop by your house, or send you a note or pass a message through someone just because they thought of you amid life happening.

Ne krakra nye dɛ,…

The new perspective for me on the days I’m feeling lonely is to see it as it’s other people’s turn to be visited. My loved one has other loved ones they’re just visiting and they’ll be back. I am just happy to be on your roster.

Thanks for all the times you’ve stopped by. Now go do some boss ass planetary shit!

🫶🏾🫶🏾

Dedicated to my besties, who visit me a lot. Sometimes, they bring their kids ☺️